dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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