Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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