Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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