I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
