First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
