I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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