She's JV to your varsity
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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