Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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