You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
