I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
