DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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