youre lurking in front of me
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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