so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
