M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Green mimosas i think yes
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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