The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
In America we eat man semen.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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