East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
