i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
