i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize