I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i dont even know how to be here
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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