You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
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im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
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He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize