Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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