I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
