Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
