Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize