Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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