Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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