I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
