If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
