3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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