Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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