North Korea, Best Korea!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
