And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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