I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
