apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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