So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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