Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
