If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
