Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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