bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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