they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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