Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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