If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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