I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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