I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
