the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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