like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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