Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
