i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
