Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
