I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
