Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she looked like the before picture.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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