so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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