didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
