I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
