Whod you bang
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
