Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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