haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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