You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
