No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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